![]() But every time I moved my seat, a few minutes later there he’d be, sprawled across from me and laughing. It was the middle of the afternoon and very hot, and the carriages were crowded enough that I thought I could get away from him merely by going and sitting somewhere else. ![]() I kept on expecting things to jump out at me – I kept expecting to hear the same laughter of that devil I heard the day he pursued me up and down the train. I was left with a kind of blankness, Jeffers, from those years of being afraid. ![]() And go wrong they always do!įear is a habit like any other, and habits kill what is essential in ourselves. Nonetheless you carried on, building a shelter for people to use when things went wrong for them too. I know you’ve always known about such things, and have written about them, even when others didn’t want to hear and found it tiresome to dwell on what was wicked and wrong. I don’t think I realised how many parts of life there were, until each one of them began to release its capacity for badness. It was like a contamination, Jeffers: it got into everything and turned it bad. I once told you, Jeffers, about the time I met the devil on a train leaving Paris, and about how after that meeting the evil that usually lies undisturbed beneath the surface of things rose up and disgorged itself over every part of life. ![]()
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May 2023
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